If I could freeze time ...

My little Liam's tiny toes.

Having a small baby seems to make me hyper-sensitive to the passage of time. It happened before with Camden and now again with my little Liam. They change so fast, right before your eyes. It really is a miracle. And I love that I'm a part of it.

As I've sat during many hours of nursing and waiting in doctors' offices these past weeks, I've had time to ponder this phenomenon. And it's led me to wonder ... If I could freeze time, would I? I've decided that the answer is "no." If a little elf appeared on my doorstep and offered me this magical power, I do believe I would decline. Here's why:

Many things in life, including parenthood, are such a mix. You get the good with the bad, the easy and the tough. And I think the Lord did that on purpose. For instance, each phase of a child's life (at least that I've encountered so far as a parent) is abundant with fun things as well as hard things. The cuddling and cooing of a newborn are close companions with poopy diapers and sleepless nights. The newfound independence and self-reliance of a toddler are often coupled with major attitude and temper tantrums. I'm convinced if it were one way or the other, it just wouldn't work. If having children were all hard, no one would want to do it. If it were all grins and giggles, I'd never want my kids to grow up. Instead, childhood is sprinkled with a good deal of both: enough fun things to keep me sane and enough hard things for me to be okay with a baby passing to the next phase.

I've heard it said, that
Living in the future begets anxiety,
Living in the past begets depression, but
Living in the present begets true joy and peace of mind.

As I've sat gazing at tiny newborn Liam, I've been trying to apply this philosophy. I seize the moment and live in it and relish it. But I'm okay with it not being that way forever. I know that soon enough, he'll be wiggling off my lap and sassing me. But I'm okay with that. In fact, I take joy in the thought of my boys progressing to the next phases of life. That's my job as a parent, isn't it? To prepare my boys for the world, to nurture them so that they will become well-adjusted adults who contribute to society.

So, to those who say, "They grow up too fast," I heartily disagree. I say they grow up just right: slow enough for me to enjoy each day, but fast enough that we're not standing still. I choose to view time with my children not as a handful of sand slipping through my fingers, but as a stone that I can grasp and hold each moment of the day. I hope that someday I'll smile as I watch it skip across the water.