The Weaver

My life is but a weaving 


Between my Lord and me.


I cannot choose the colors


He weaveth steadily.


Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;


And I in foolish pride


Forget He sees the upper


And I the underside.


Not ‘til the loom is silent


And the shuttles cease to fly 


Will God unroll the canvas


And reveal the reason why.


The dark threads are as needful


In the weaver’s skillful hand 


As the threads of gold and silver


In the pattern He has planned.


He knows, He loves, He cares; 


Nothing this truth can dim.


He gives the very best to those


Who leave the choice to Him.

~Benjamin Malachi Franklin

Really?

Trent lost his job unexpectedly Friday morning. Corporate politics. Who knew that Wells Fargo post a couple weeks ago would end up being basically an "Ode to His Time There"? Ah, the irony.

Even though it's a hard transition, a feeling of peace has settled on our family and on our home. I know we will make it through this together. We are a great team, and at least at the end of the day, we still have each other. In the long-run, that's what's most important anyway. My boys. I love them. Also, peace comes from knowing we can still put food on the table, literally. Thanks to following our wise bishop's counsel, we have at least 6 months worth of food preserved from our garden, filling our pantry, and dry-packed, as well as a year's worth of laundry detergent, plenty of TP and toiletries, etc. Here's to emergency preparedness, even when you don't know what you're preparing for! Turns out a blizzard, earthquake, or other natural disaster isn't the only emergency that can come a-knockin'.

My Trent is talented in so many ways and so extremely hardworking, and I know he'll find something. (Maybe even something he enjoys a little more!) In the mean time, we are just so happy to be together. Even before he got his traveling position, for the past 8 months he's been working 12- to 13-hour days and 6-day weeks. We've all been putting on brave faces for a long time. But the truth is: We've missed him. And for now, we don't have to. And I've decided ... I'll take it.

Really, it's kind of an adventure in so many ways. I mean, don't we all get kind of tired of the mundane daily grind once in a while? Not us! Not now! We're partying on powdered milk and hunting for a mysterious unknown future together. And me? I'm trying not to hobble around like an old lady 5 weeks after major abdominal surgery, and mostly it's working. :) Life is most d e f i n i t e l y not boring. Mundane? Nope. Not a bit.

We are going to be okay. I know it. The Lord will watch over us. He always does.

Missing Pipo

My grandfather passed away while I was in the hospital. I miss him. I wish so much I had been able to fly out for the funeral and say good-bye. Instead, because I couldn't even see straight enough to use the computer yet, I did my best to dictate a note, lovingly typed and added to by my sweet husband, that went with him into his casket. And I thank my dear family for giving me at least that little taste of participation. When Camden learned the news, he wasn't sad at all. He simply said, "Oh. He's with Heavenly Father now."

Dear Pipo,

We will miss you, but we know that we will see you again someday because we are an eternal family. What will we remember most about our time with you? Being in the D.C. Temple together. What a beautiful day! What a blessing that we are all sealed together! Trips to the beach, crackers and margarine, Krispy Cream doughnuts, pasteles, Nestum, hanging out at the Cuban Market and all the beautiful feasts you used to prepare, always sneaking food and breaking your diabetic diet (how many cinnamon rolls did you have that Christmas?), cantaloupes ripening in every corner of the house and always a refrigerator packed to capacity, the trip home from the temple on our wedding day in your Jeep, and how Happy dog constantly followed you around the house knowing he was going to get something really good to eat, your love and dedicated visits to Mama Juana, Miami Seaquarium, driving in Miami traffic in your big car, and how you constantly wanted to know the best CD rates at the banks. Over the years, your example of hard work and industry has blessed our family in ways few can imagine. Thank you for bringing our family to the United States and for working so hard to make a life for us here. We love you. You will always be in our hearts. We will be together again soon.

Love,

Melody, Trent and Camden

This picture is from the last time I saw him and spent time with him, at my parents' house last July -- over the Fourth of July weekend '09, actually. So fun. So irreplaceable. I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am that I traveled in spite of my fresh car accident injuries. I can't even begin to explain ... I'm not sure if anyone besides Trent knows this, but on the day they left (verrrrry early in the morning: 4 a.m. I think), I felt compelled to sneak out of bed and see them one last time, even though they had insisted that all the family good-byes had been said the night before. I hugged them, kissed them, and looked them in the eye. Little did I know, it was the last squeeze. The last kiss. I miss him. Mima is in Virginia with my family now. And I have hungered so many millions of times in the past few weeks to wrap my arms around her petite frame and let her know how much I love her. My precious little abuelita. Soon. I will see her soon. And Pipo too. This life is but a moment. 

So Proud of My Man

It's a big day. Trent is starting in a whole new kind of position with Wells Fargo. He is now a National Corporate Trainer and will be helping facilitate the Wachovia/Wells merger in the East over the next two years. He is one of only 25 in the first wave hired in the entire country. I am so proud of him.

We put him on a plane yesterday for a week-long training in Sacramento, and I miss him already. Facing the reality that he is going to be gone 85% of the time for the next couple years has really made me reflect on what an amazing man he is and how blessed I am to have him in my life. I'm not going to pretend I'm unafraid to face pseudo-single-motherhood, because I am, but we'll make it work. We always do. In the meantime, I'm just so tickled for him that he is back into what he loves to do: coaching. He is so phenomenal at it, and I know he's going to excel in his new position.

Sending you lots of love from home. We miss you, Daddy, but we know you'll be great! And we'll see you soon ...

Crash

At the risk of sounding like a whiny mess ... I mentioned I've been feeling crummy lately, but I didn't say why. I wish it were happy news, but we've not been so fortunate in the past few months. Some of you already know why, but for those who are out of the loop, here's the schpiel:

It's amazing how much can change in just a small moment in time. Camden and I were in a pretty serious car accident on May 5 of last year, but we didn't know how serious until now. We were at a complete stop and were rear-ended by someone coming off the highway. Of course, there were the immediate, obvious injuries. I was rushed to the ER in an ambulance with full-body whiplash and injuries to my chest, legs, ribs, ankle, and a few other minor things. And little Camden followed with x-rays at Children's Hospital the next day for a back injury. Being the vibrant, resilient little man he is, Camden seems to be fine now. I worry, though, and I still watch him. I, on the other hand, sustained a more sinister internal injury. At my first doc appointment, I complained of stabbing pains under the left side of my rib cage, but my doc ran x-rays, saw nothing, and blew it off. However, after months and months and months of physical therapy, the mysterious rib-cage problem began to re-assert itself, this time with a vigor that could not be ignored. Long story short: The trauma to my abdomen caused damage to my pancreas that went unnoticed for nine months, and a cyst began to form.

In January, I was back in the ER, this time with excruciating abdominal pain and unexplained vomiting. And finally somebody agreed to do a soft tissue scan. (Thank heaven!) And there it was, my "baby alien" -- as my boys deemed it -- on the CT-scan. Yadda, yadda, blood work, tests, lots of different doctors, and whaddaya know, all of a sudden I'm sitting in a surgeon's office. Really. They decided that since the cyst was creating a partial blockage in my digestive system (aha! that explained the not being able to eat) and also since the pancreas was bleeding into it (aha! turns out I wasn't imagining the months of pain and nausea), we had to get that puppy out.

Major abdominal surgery on Feb 8. And not the cool laparoscopic kind. Full on, slit hip-to-hip across my belly kind. The cyst was the size of a softball by the time they got to it. They took the "baby alien" along with part of my pancreas, and also my entire spleen (because it was adhered to the cyst). I spent nine ... long ... days in the hospital, away from my precious boys, before I demanded that I needed my own bed.

Recovery has been very slow. My Mommy was going to come, but in another twist of fate, I lost my grandfather during my time in the hospital, so she diverted to Miami to help with funeral arrangements and relocating my grandma to VA. I ache for her. I know she wants to be two places at once somethin' fierce. Everyone has been amazing. Friends, family, and church members have swarmed around us, cared for us, watched Camden, fed us, done our laundry and dishes ... Words can't even begin to express my gratitude. It has been a humbling experience, to say the least. I'm no good at this hobbling around and sucking up service stuff. I'd much rather be the one doing the serving. But my time will come to give back. It is hard to be patient. Every day is a little better ... okay maybe every few days. :) I just keep thinking: It's only going to get better from here. And please -- for the love! -- no more surprises from this blasted car wreck!

Thanks for the love, y'all. I have the most awesome support system on the planet, bar none!